To Shirley and any other teachers interested in using my poems

Several weeks ago I received a request via my husband’s blog. Students in Shirley’s 6th grade “Skills for Adolescence” class in Texas wanted to use my poems to make a school blog. I was thrilled. Unfortunately, I was unable to reach her with the coordinates she sent. Shirley if you read this, go for it.The same goes for other educators.

The main reason I wrote the poems and the attached teaching aids was to assist teachers and their students in exploring this critical issue. So yes, use them, explore them, improve upon them, add to them, make use of them as you see fit…just cite my name as the author. If it helps only one child deal with this issue then it was worth the effort.

I’d love to see the end result of this venture. Could you stay in touch via this blog, Shirley?

I really need a good cyber -bullying poem on this blog and I feel out of my depth. There’s a challenge for your students. If I approve yours I’ll post it under your name and you can track my readers response to it.

I am amazed at the response I have received to this blog. My husband told me that it was poor web-etiquette to quote your own stats. I don’t see this as bragging, but rather an indication of the pertinence of the issue I have chosen to discuss. Just today I received 267 hits on this blog. Over a 16 month period I have received 15,220 hits in all. Does that not say something? I am feeling inspired to write some new poems. It is what I can do and obviously a lot of people are responding…

Wear Pink

Today is Nova Scotia’s new official “Stand Up Against Bullying Day”. I congratulate their Department of Education for designating the second Thursday of every school year for this event. What a wonderful way to recognize and remind everyone of the innovative and inspiring actions of two Central Kings Rural High School students last year. On an annual basis, reminding all students, parents and staff that bystanders have a critical and pivotal role to play can truly make a difference. If we could convince bystanders to refrain from contributing to bullying incidents and transform them into advocates for the victimized, we could initiate a shift in perspective.

Like so many other contentious issues, bullying is undergoing a shift in attitudes and tolerance. Whereas many of our parents considered bullying as an unavoidable right of passage to be endured in childhood, this generation of parents is balking at that conclusion. We would not dream of driving a car without our off-spring safely tethered into their boosters or seat-belts. We would not consider ourselves to be responsible parents if we allowed our kids to ride their bikes without helmets. Heaven forbid that we smoke a cigarette (or worse!) within their breathing space. Our parents were blissfully oblivious of these potential dangers and didn’t intervene or modify their behaviour. As we become more informed, our responsibilities multiply.

Addressing bullying requires just such attitudinal shift. It will likely take at least one generation to implement meaningful change. What an opportunity to make a difference!

I have decided to try to make this site more interactive in future. I never wanted to be the only voice. I would really welcome comments and contributions.

I have recently attempted to write a cyber-bullying poem but failed miserably. After passing it by my two teen-aged sons, I was convinced that I was out of my depth. It is a huge issue and one which I feel needs to be addressed.

So, I send out the challenge: Write us a cyber-bullying-poem. Use the lingo. Portray what it feels and sounds like….

Poetry in the Classroom

I have recently discovered that some teachers feel uncomfortable teaching poetry. This surprised me and I have been trying to understand why. I feel I have understood some of the stumbling-blocks, but please send me a comment if you feel you could explain this further.

It seems to me (admittedly not a teacher) that poetry is well suited to classroom time restrictions. Poems are generally short. No teacher need be a poet any more than a teacher need be a novelist or a master of the short-story. There is a vast variety of poetry out there, yet the perception of what constitutes poetry is very limited. Personally, I feel that poetry is a very user-friendly medium which adapts itself to a wide selection of teaching and learning styles.

Perhaps it would be useful to experiment with purely enjoyable poetry play before embarking upon a more serious theme such as bullying. Perhaps teachers and students alike might find themselves pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable this medium can be…and how useful. I would like to suggest a few ice-breaker type activities which could potentially lead into a more intense poetry exercice:

• Fill-in-the-blank type poetry done in pairs. Compose a poem or use a well-known poem. Substitute words with their parts of speech. (nouns, adverbs, adjectives, etc.) Have one partner ask for examples of each part of speech and substitute the other partner’s responses into the poem. Read the poems aloud to the class afterwards. Example: (proper name) and Jill went up the (geographical location) to (verb) a pail of (liquid noun). Jack fell (adjective of direction) and broke his (anatomical part) and (proper name ) came (verb-ing) after. Sample result: Tom Cruise and Jill went up the canyon to splatter a pail of acid rain. Jack fell sideways and broke his funny-bone and Madonna came jogging after. Encourage outrageous responses.

• Start a traveling poem around the classroom. Establish a rhythm and rhyme pattern and let the students jump in and collaborate as they feel inspired to do so. Write it down as they brainstorm.

• Use a familiar song, rap-tune, chant, nursery rhyme to start a poem. Let the kids pursue it further to entirely change the outcome. When stalled ask questions of where, why, when, who, etc.

• Display a series of silhouette drawings of recognizable objects, people or events. Allow the kids to wander around and fill in the empty space with their comments/poetry.

• Offer a variety of percussion instruments (or have the children make their own) and encourage them to follow your rhythm while you read a poem. They could write their own and accompany it with their instrument afterwards.

• Assign roles, establish a theme and let groups of two create and enact their own poem.

• Play a word-association game. Eyes-closed, name a word and have the students free-associate words or thoughts.

• Always have a magnetic poetry board at their disposition.

• Use other media to illustrate a chosen poem. (cartoon drawing, musical composition, mime, sign language, puppet show, animation,second language translation…)

After having explored some of these warm-up activities, young minds and teachers alike will perhaps feel primed to explore more threatening issues and use poetry to work through them. That is my hope.

What Shall I Do About Carla McFee?

What shall I do about Carla McFee?
The girl is truly getting to me.
All her mocking and taunting.
To face her is daunting.
Tormenting me gives her such glee

At night in my bed,
You know what I do?
I imagine her dead,
And suffering too.

I inflict on her torture.
She’s tied to a stake.
The flames singe and scorch her.
Her insides, they bake.

Or …

I know what to say,
And I use a firm tone.
And lo and behold,
She leaves me alone.

But …

Back at my school,
Our roles are reversed.
I forget all the lines,
That I’ve tried to rehearse.

My mouth goes so dry,
And my heart is aflutter.
Not one of those words,
Do I manage to mutter.

It’s all I can do,
Not to break down and cry,
I stammer, I stutter.
I feel I shall die.

What shall I do about Carla McFee?
I’ll ask my Grampa.
He’s wise as can be
He says …

Although it feels good to dream of her torture,
It really won’t stop her abuse.
You need to put your imagination,
To more constructive use.

The next time Carla starts taunting again,
Protect yourself from the pain.
Imagine you’re wearing a rubber skin.
Her insults bounce off you in vain.

She’d love you to cry.
Or to show a reaction.
She mustn’t be given,
That grim satisfaction.

Just hold you head high,
And show no dismay.
Look her straight in the eye.
And walk calmly away.

So …

The next day, Carla was at it again;
She ridiculed how I was dressed.
I imagined I put on my rubber skin,
And I managed to feel less stressed.

I kept my cool and looked at her calmly,
As if not a thing was amiss.
I walked away and said to her simply.
“I haven’t got time for this”

It took a few weeks until Carla got bored,
Of seeing me so unperturbed.
Her mocking and jeering I simply ignored.
I managed to seem undisturbed.

The memories continue to haunt me,
That I cannot deny.
So then I go to see Grampa,
I have a little cry.

If you should meet a Carla McFee,
Remember Grampa’s advice.
I don’t know why it has to be.
Why can’t we all be nice?

by Andrea Wilson

Topics For Discussion:

• Is the desire for revenge healthy? What could be the results?
• How does anxiety manifest itself? What can provide relief?
• It is important to seek advice and assistance from adults. Why?
• Define coping mechanisms. Explore ones which are effective and appropriate. Which aren’t?
• It is possible to defuse a bully. What can happened when a bully doesn’t get a reaction? What attitudes (verbal and non-verbal) might suggest to a bully that a victim isn’t reacting? What is the bully likely to do? Has he/she learned anything?
• When is it not advisable to cry, and when is it safe to do so?

Classroom Activities:

• In groups of three, re-enact the story.
• Draw illustrations for the poem.
• Practice adopting a nonchalant attitude and using phrases intended to defuse (and not provoke) a bully.
• Expand upon the story. Adopting the role of the Grand-Father, brainstorm a list of other advice and coping mechanisms.

Cause and Effect

[first draft, needs work]

In the middle of the hall stands Big Bruce Halliday.
Looking very handsome as he swaggers to and fro.
Teachers all admire his charming personality.
They don’t see he’s putting on a show.

But it’s after school he wields his cool authority.
Intimidating, threatening until he gets his way.
That’s how Bruce maintains superiority.
Not a sole would dare to disobey.

Now meet Fran Wright, she’s as mean as she is cunning.
Just be careful not to anger her or make her jealous.
Next thing you will notice, she’ll be gossiping and shunning.
A schemer, she is cruel and overzealous.

Somehow grown-ups don’t notice her manipulate.
They don’t hear her insults or her taunts.
One small thing I would really like to stipulate:
This is precisely what she wants.

And then there’s Crystal Bergman. She is cool and so collected.
One wouldn’t think she knew what feelings were.
Oftentimes her actions go completely undetected.
But hurting other girls is kicks for her.

Why is it that grown-ups do not notice she’s malicious?
Why can’t they see the wounds, the scars, the tears?
Crystal’s very careful to be oh, so surreptitious.
The girl is so much more than she appears.

Take a look at that. There’s Old Bruce Senior.
Did you see him raise his fist and start to shout?
“No kid of mine cries! What’s this behavior?
You want a bruise to really cry about?”

Around the corner storms mean Mrs. Wright.
She’s yelling at her daughter. Fran is sucking on her thumb.
“Can’t you do a single thing right?
How could you be so dumb?”

Young Miss Bergman was once a happy girl.
Who knows what happened to Crystal?
One day her life just started to unfurl.
Eventually it ended with a pistol.

by Andrea Wilson

Topics for Discussion:

• There are many types of bullies. Some are confident bullies with big egos and violent tendencies. Other are cold and heartless bullies who appear insensitive and vicious. Still other are social bullies who love to taunt and spread rumors and gossip. A bullied bully is himself a target and seeks relief from feelings of powerlessness by lashing out at weaker individuals. A hyperactive bully struggles socially and reacts aggressively to any provocation. How would you describe the three bullies in the poem?
• A person isn’t born a bully. What factors can contribute to the development of bullying tendencies?
• What is empathy? How can empathy help?

Classroom Activities:

• In small groups, research news reports of some of the more tragic incidents of bullying. (For example: Columbine High School, Littleton Colorado, 1999; Reena Virk, Victoria, BC, 1997; Hamed Nastih, Surrey, BC, 2000; Dawn Marie Wesley, Mission, BC, 2000; Emmet Fralick, Halifax, NS, 2002)
• As a class, discuss how bullying can result in retaliatory homicide and suicide. What could be done to avoid such tragic outcomes? Brainstorm a mission statement for you class to help address this issue.

The Lunchroom

I sit here in the lunchroom,
And chomp my ham and cheese.
I smell the scent of mushroom.
The gang begins to tease.

“Your spring rolls have sprung.
Your bean curd’s a turd.
Your dumplings are dung.
And you’re such a nerd.”

Her name is Ming Ma Wong.
She’s eating egg drop soup.
Her eyes look sadly woe begone.
Her shoulders start to droop.

I catch a waft of Parmesan.
The gang has smelled it too.
They soon devise a master plan.
While watching Tony chew.

“Cannelloni, minestrone,
Fettuccine and linguine,
Pannetonne. Tell me Tony,
Do you think you’re Mussolini?

Tony looks so devastated.
Garlic fills the room.
That smell cannot be understated.
Taunting will resume.

“Paté de foie and basilic,
Les Crèpes and croque monsieur …
You call this food? It makes me sick.”
Martin exclaims, << Mon Dieu! >>

There soon arrives an odor,
A smell I can’t define.
No matter what the flavor,
The gang will realign.

The new boy’s called Masaki.
He loves to eat his Nori,
His Sushi and Shiitaki,
And Tofu Yakitori.

The gang surrounds Masaki.
I watch as they regroup.
“Teriyaki, Sukiyaki.
What the heck is Miso Soup?”

The foods all smell so good to me.
The gang is so unkind.
I really have to disagree.
I’m of another mind.

So …

Tomorrow I will ask my mom,
To hold the ham and cheese.
I’d prefer …

Sauerkraut, Moussaka,
Baklava, Tofu,
Strudel and Frittata,
Couscous and pistou …

I won’t be in a hurry.
I’ll look them in the eye,
While savoring my curry.
They will not make me cry,

If that gang should come along,
I’m ready. I’ll be braced.
They will not faze me with their song.
I’ll ask them, “Want a taste?”

by Andrea Wilson

Topics For Discussion:

• This poem is about inter-racial bullying. Why is being different perceived as a bad thing? What is prejudice?
• Verbal harassment can hurt every bit as much as a punch or a kick. What can be done about it? What attitude does the narrator propose to take if harassed? What is likely to happen if a bully doesn’t get the reaction he is seeking?
• What qualities does the narrator display?

Classroom Activities:

• Make a drawing to illustrate an incident of inter-racial bullying, either personal or global.
• Taking a stand when you witness an injustice takes courage. Write a brief account of an incident you witnessed which you found to be unfair or unkind. What could you or did you do to intervene? When would it be ill-advised to intervene? If you can’t remember an event, feel free to invent a story.
• Imagine a world in which everyone is the same. Write a brief description. Would you like to live in that world?

My Walk to School

Fist punch.
Foot crunch.
Hand hit.
Mouth spit.
Eye swells.
Can’t see.
Please,
Please,
Let me be.

Rips my homework.
Steals my money.
Grabs my lunch.
Thinks it’s funny.

I won’t tell, I swear I won’t.
Please don’t do that. I said “Don’t!”

Sticks and stones may break my bones …
Sissy
Prissy
Four-eyes
Geek
Fatso
Schizo
Nerdy
Freak
… but names can really hurt.

Through the doors.
Up the stairs.
Face is bloody.
No one cares.

In the washroom.
Clean up the mess.
I’ll be safe
Until … recess.

by Andrea Wilson

Topics for discussion:

• Is the bully in the poem a boy or a girl? Which type of bullying do boys engage in more frequently? And girls?
• Everyone is familiar with the chant “Sticks and stones”. Do you agree that names can never hurt? What damage can name-calling do?
• Bullies take advantage of an imbalance of power between themselves and the victim. Discuss why a bully hits someone and what effect it has on him/her.

Classroom Activities:

• Brainstorm situations where an imbalance of power can lead to abuse. Put on skits to demonstrate those situations.
  Try using onomatopoeia to describe a scenario involving physical bullying.
• Pretend you come upon the child in the washroom at the end of the poem. What advice and/or assistance could you offer?
• Draw an abstract picture which depicts fear.

Telling

Monday his homework was torn into shreds.
Tuesday it took him an hour to come home.
And he said:
I found another route.

Wednesday his jacket was ripped and maimed.
Thursday he needed a very big snack.
And he claimed:
I lost my lunch money.

Friday he limped and had blood on his knee.
Saturday he wouldn’t answer the phone.
He told me:
I want to be alone.

Sunday he’s lying awake in his bed.
Monday’s tomorrow. I won’t go, he says,
Full of dread:
I won’t go back to school.

Day after day, many things were amiss.
He needs to tell me or I cannot help.
I ask this:
Please, can I help you, son?

by Andrea Wilson

Topics For Discussion:

• Often bullying incidents are surrounded by a shroud of secrecy. Why is this?
• The parent in the poem has recognized signs that his/her child is being bullied. What other clues might indicate this?
• The parent wants to help. Should the child confide in his parents?
• Sometimes another person who is aware of the situation needs to tell an adult, but children learn from a young age that being a “tattle-tale” is being a traitor.
• What is the difference between tattling and telling? When is it the right thing to do? (Tattling gets the person in trouble. Telling gets the person out of trouble)

Classroom activities:

• Divide the blackboard into two columns. Brainstorm two corresponding lists: What the parent could do to help the child. What would make the situation worse?
• Imagine a short scenario which ends with someone telling an adult about what has transpired. The class takes a vote on whether this is tattling or telling. This can be done verbally or on paper.

My Mom and Me

It used to be I’d hop out of bed,
So eager to start my day.
But times have changed. I ask my mom,
“Can I stay home from school today?”

I find a lot of grounds,
To justify my stance.
I plead, I beg, I frown,
I do a little dance.

“My ears, they ache. My tummy’s sore.”
I blow my nose and cough some more.
“What are these spots upon my chest?”
I wheeze. I sneeze. I do my best.

My Mom sits down beside my bed.
“You are not sick.” I turn bright red.
I know she hates it when I lie.
She’d understand if she knew why.

So should I tell her of my woes?
And will it change things if she knows?
I fear she’ll only make things worse.
If I don’t tell her, I think I’ll burst.

And so I tell her of the clique.
The girls who say that I’m a “geek”.
I tell of giggles,
The whispers,
The rumors.
I talk of their spite,
They cruel sense of humor.

And …

It feels so good to vent.
Although it’s so private.
I talk and talk.
My Mom’s very quiet.

She says to me gently,
“I’m terribly sorry.”
We hug and we cry.
We go over my story.

Together we look at the things we can do.
I’m no longer alone; we have a plan too.
I think I can face being teased and harassed.
With Mom on my side, my power is vast

by Andrea Wilson

Topics for Discussion:

• The narrator doesn’t want to go to school because she will encounter the clique. What other effects could the experience of being bullied have on a person?
• Why is it so important to tell a trusted adult about being bullied?
• What is social or relational bullying? How does a clique ostracize a child?
• What are some helpful thing adults can do. How can they “make things worse”?

Classroom Activities:

• In small groups, come up with a “plan” to help the narrator.
• Turn the poem into a song.
• Continue the poem by repeating “It used to be …” and “But times have changed …” as they are used in the first stanza. This time use them to demonstrate what she has learned.
  • For example:
    It used to be I’d shake with fear,
    Whenever they’d come my way.
    But times have changed; when they come near,
    I simply walk away.