March 11, 2008 by Harold Jarche
Join my gang and you will see,
We’ll have such fun, I guarantee.
See that nerd, the one who’s shy?
I bet that we can make him cry.
He deserves it.
I don’t care.
The kid’s a jerk.
He’s not all there.
Over there is Marylou.
I tell you what we’re gonna do.
Start a rumor, let it spread.
I bet her face will turn beet red.
She’s upset?
That’s just too bad.
The girl’s a wimp,
So don’t get sad.
And now let’s have some fun with Kit.
I’ll whisper “Kit”, then laugh at it.
She, who thinks she’s one of us,
She’ll look all hurt and make a fuss.
My, oh my!
The girl is nuts.
She peed her pants
And puked her guts!
Me, mean?
I am stronger than the rest.
Smarter, braver. I’m the best.
I don’t owe them. They owe me.
They had it coming, don’t you see?
Join my gang,
And you will be,
Protected, safe.
‘Cause you’re with me.
by Andrea Wilson
Topics for discussion:
- The bully is exerting pressure to have the reader join his/her clique. What advantages are there in joining a clique?
- Disadvantages? Would you join? What would happen if you decline?
- It is often hard to resist peer pressure. How do you judge when to “go along” with the gang and when not to?
- How do bullies feel about themselves? What arguments does the bully in the poem use to justify his behavior?
Classroom Activities:
- Read the poem like a chant, adding a background drumbeat.
- Pretend you are the bully’s psychologist and that you have discovered what circumstances contributed to making the bully behave so unkindly. Write down your “professional” opinion. How can you help him/her?
- In small groups, practice answering the bully. Come to a consensus on the best response.
Posted in Cliques, Poems | 4 Comments »
March 11, 2008 by Harold Jarche
Today they called me stupid
They said I had no brain.
They sneered at me.
They jeered at me.
And stared with such disdain.But…
I lie in bed tonight.
As happy as a clam.
Because you see,
Or do you see?
I know just who I am.
Tonight I am a dragon-slayer,
The greatest anywhere.
I hunt the beast.
I find the beast,
Asleep within its lair.
I charge it on my stallion.
I stab it with my dagger.
It turns on me.
It leaps at me,
And then it starts to stagger.
I seize it by the tail.
And whirl it round and round.
It roars out load,
It shrieks out load,
It crashes to the ground.
Today they grabbed my lunch.
They tore at my nice new shirt.
They laughed at me.
They spat at me.
And made me eat some dirt.
But …
Tonight I am a hockey star.
Whom no one can defeat
I stop the puck
I hit the puck
The crowd is on its feet.
The goalie tries to block it.
His efforts are in vain.
I score a goal,
The winning goal.
I’m Number One again!
Today they wanted money,
Or swore they’d hurt my brother.
I gave them it.
Yes, all of it.
And still they hurt my brother.
But …
Tonight I am a mountain climber,
Just starting my ascent.
I’m climbing high,
So very high.
I swear I won’t relent.
I’ve almost reached the summit.
And triumph tastes so sweet.
I gage the cliff,
I scale the cliff.
The world is at my feet.
Tomorrow is another day.
I’ll have to face their schemes,
Their pranks, their tricks,
Their slaps and kicks
For now …
I have my dreams.
by Andrea Wilson
Topics for Discussion:
- What coping mechanism does the narrator use? How does it help? Does it solve the situation?
- We all do unkind things from time to time, but we are not all bullies. What distinguishes a bullying incident from an isolated act of unkindness? (1- There is intent to do harm. 2- The act is repeated or threatened to be repeated. 3- An imbalance of power exists between the instigator and the victim.) Do the events in this poem qualify as bullying?
- Why do you think the child’s fantasies cast him as brave, popular and powerful?
Classroom Activities:
- When speaking in front of a crowd it is often recommended that one imagine the audience is sitting in their underwear. The strategy is that this will help you perceive the audience as less intimidating and give you courage. Collaborate in making a list of things students do to make themselves feel better in a difficult situation. Can some of these techniques be applied to bullying situations?
- Coping mechanisms can help a situation but sometimes more action is required. As a group, elaborate a plan of action to deal with the bullies in this poem.
- What could be done to make the victim feel more empowered? Illustrate this in a picture with captions.
Posted in Coping Mechanisms, Poems, Power | 5 Comments »
March 11, 2008 by Harold Jarche
My friend Patricia’s a fabulous girl.
Her hair is gold with a bit of a curl.
She smiles like an angel and sings like a bird.
The likes of Patricia have never been heard.
She has such a talent for singing a song.
Her voice is so clear, and so sweet, and so strong.
There isn’t a doubt; she is terribly gifted.
When listening to her I feel so uplifted.
That’s why it’s so sad,
The things that they say.
Those kids on the playground,
I heard them today.
Because they are jealous of what they have heard,
They tease her,
They taunt her,
They call her a nerd.
Patricia’s gold curls have started to wilt
Her lyrical voice is losing its lilt.
That radiant smile is gone from her face.
Of the old Patricia, there isn’t a trace.
It’s a terrible loss and it must not be.
Someone must fix this,
I guess it is me.
The next time those kids,
Are being unkind
I’ll say to them “Stop!”
And perhaps they may find …
The fact that she’s pretty,
The fact she can sing,
Is not for one moment.
A terrible thing.
I can speak French.
He can run laps.
You can score goals.
And maybe, perhaps …
I’ll be your fan.
You can be mine.
So, sing on, Patricia,
And let yourself shine.
by Andrea Wilson
Discussion Topics:
- What is jealousy and is it healthy?
- How would you define self-esteem? What effects can bullying have on a victim’s self-esteem?
- How can onlookers positively and negatively affect a bullying incident? What is a social conscience?
- Describe what is meant by loyalty. What is the value of a good friend?
When and how should you intervene in a bullying incident?
Classroom Activities:
- Try to recall an occasion when you felt jealous. Write a short account of how you felt and what you may have done or thought of doing.
- List ten qualities which a good friend displays. How might you go about applying these qualities in a relationship?Pick names out of a hat and tell that person one thing they do well or that you like about them.
- In small groups, put on a play about a clique ganging up on someone. Pretend that a few onlookers decided to intervene. What do they do and say?
Posted in Friendship, Intervening, Jealousy, Poems | Leave a Comment »
March 11, 2008 by Harold Jarche
Look, I was only teasing.
C’mon, it’s all in fun.
You got no sense of humor?
Aren’t we the touchy one!
But I don’t find it funny.
I guess I missed the joke.
Thought if I say that outright,
They’ll laugh until they croak.
Hey! Can’t you take a joke, kid?
Are jokes supposed to hurt?
I fail to see the humor.
You called me “stupid jerk”!
My! Your skin is awfully thin.
Stop getting so perturbed.
Hello! We all have feelings!
I guess you haven’t heard.
What side did you get out of bed?
Why can’t you let me be?
Because you’re really fun to bug.
It’s awesome, can’t you see?
Could be you find it funny.
Perhaps you cannot learn.
But history has a nasty way,
Of making it your turn.
by Andrea Wilson
Topics for discussion:
- The last stanza is reminiscent of the expressions: “What goes around, come around.” and “You reap what you sow.” Discuss what this means.
- Joking is a healthy way of having fun amongst friends. Taunting is verbal bullying. What differentiates one from the other? (Joking: does not intend to hurt anyone, makes both parties laugh, involves the participation of both parties, does not demean anyone, and stops when one person becomes upset. Taunting: aims to hurt someone, is not funny to the target, is purely one-sided, is cruel and humiliating, and escalated if the target becomes upset.)
Classroom Activities:
- Draw two comic-strips. One demonstrates two friends joking in a friendly fashion. The other depicts a bully taunting someone.
- Write a list of things you don’t like to be teased about. How would it make you feel if someone did tease you about one of those things? What might you say or do to make them stop?
- In teams of two, act out the poem. One of you says the text in regular font and the other says the part in italics.
Posted in Joking versus Teasing, Poems | Leave a Comment »
March 11, 2008 by Harold Jarche
Never underestimate the value of a friend.
Someone who is loyal, on whom you can depend.
You might not always play with them. They play with others too.
But when the chips are really down, they’re always there for you.
I once had such a friend. She was a most amazing person.
Her hair was red and wavy and her name was Gwen MacPherson.
Until that point in early life, I didn’t comprehend,
That life is nicer, safer when you share it with a friend.
You see there was this other girl who caused me great distress.
She told such lies about me that my life was one big mess.
Her whispers and her nasty gibes had long begun to haunt me.
Then other boys and girls joined in. They too began to taunt me.
It seemed no one would help me and I felt so all alone.
The outdoor playground had become a dreaded combat-zone.
And then one fateful day while hearing jokes at my expense,
Gwen MacPherson jumped right in and came to my defense.
It wasn’t what she said that day or even how she said it.
It took a lot of guts, for which I’ll always give her credit.
The others looked so very stunned and soon they crept away.
My own relief was more than words can possibly convey.
With Gwen as my own buffer, I felt much more empowered.
The girl who used to bug me had become a nervous coward.
Gwen and I would stroll around, while walking arm in arm.
The other girl was puzzled and would flee us in alarm.
I’d been in such an awful funk and given up all hope.
Then Gwen became my trusted friend and showed me how to cope.
So never underestimate the power of a friend.
Someone who is loyal, on whom you can depend.
by Andrea Wilson
Topics For Discussion:
- The narrator refers to her friend as a “buffer”. What does that mean? In what other ways might a friend be helpful in avoiding or coping with bullying incidents?
- The bully in this poem succeeded in recruiting other children to join in her nasty game. What would have happened if everyone had refused to join in? Do onlookers have any power over the way a bullying event unfolds? Do they have any responsibilities?
Classroom activities:
- Think of a time when you felt all alone and afraid. Using a simile or metaphor describe what that felt like. Example: Being alone and afraid feels like a cold, damp day. Being alone and afraid tastes and looks like an empty desert. Being alone and afraid is like having a mouthful of hot chili peppers.
- As a class, brainstorm qualities that make up a good friend. Individually, identify which qualities you possess and which ones you need to work at.
- Draw a picture about a time when someone stood up for you. If you can’t think of an example, make one up.
Posted in Fear, Friendship, Intervening, Poems | Leave a Comment »
March 11, 2008 by Harold Jarche
Belinda Bates is a bully
A bossy, belligerent bully.
Though a beauty and bright,
She’s so full of spite,
But adults don’t know she’s a bully
“On please let me help, Miss O’ Neal”
“What a lovely tie, Mister Beal.”
She’s as sweet as canned spinach,
A fake to the finish,
Yet grown-ups are sure she’s for real.
But …
If they’d walk out on the playground
On any given day,
They’d see Miss Bates in action,
And much to their dismay,
They’d see …
A shy girl is shunned and she’s teased,
Her brother is kicked in the knees,
Another called “Fatso”
Her clique?
They all laughed so.
Such pain she inflicts with great ease.
But …
I can see it happen.
And I know it isn’t right.
I can tell a teacher,
And refuse to watch a fight.
I can help the shy girl.
Lift her brother to her feet.
Call Fatso by his real name,
and refuse to join the clique.
I can even be nice to Belinda,
For I’m sure there is something wrong.
I think she is really unhappy.
Let’s see if we can’t get along.
by Andrea Wilson
Topics for discussion:
-
Why are adults often not aware of a bully’s behavior and how does a bully manage to pass undetected?
-
Describe different types of bullying: physical, verbal, relational or social. How do they manifest themselves?
-
What are cliques? When do cliques become a problem?
-
What roles can an onlooker play?
-
When should you intervene and how?
-
What might be the underlying causes of bullying behavior
-
What is empathy?
Classroom activities:
-
Using the first stanza as an example, practice using alliteration to write a stanza about bullying.
-
Using the phrase “She’s as sweet as canned spinach” as an example, write examples of similes to describe bullies.
-
Explore empathy by finding possible explanations (not justifications) for Belinda’s behavior.
-
Try methods of intervening by role-playing.
Posted in Cliques, Empathy, Intervening, Poems, Types of Bullying | Leave a Comment »